‘I still have little flashbacks here and there’ – Steve Smith opens up on sandpapergate trauma

Steve Smith is preparing for his first Test series in South Africa since the ball-tampering scandal of March 24, 2018, at Newlands Cricket Ground in Cape Town. The Australian batter will face the Proteas in a three-match Test series beginning October 9 in Durban, with subsequent matches scheduled for Gqeberha and Cape Town. Smith has returned to South Africa for white-ball cricket since the incident, but this marks his first Test appearance in the country since Sandpapergate.

During that infamous match, Australian players attempted to rough up one side of the ball with sandpaper to alter its swing characteristics. Smith was banned from international cricket for 12 months and stripped of his captaincy for two years as a result of his involvement. The incident remains a defining moment in his career, one that continues to affect him emotionally.

“I’m not a big fan of cameras … I get anxious around cameras to be honest. That was a traumatic experience in my life and when I hear the flash of a camera it makes me revisit that in a way. The 24-48 hours of being told by James Sutherland (then-Cricket Australia chief executive) that I was getting banned for a year. That and going through the airport in Johannesburg getting absolutely mobbed, and then flying back and doing that press conference. I still have little flashbacks here and there of it,” said Smith as quoted by The South African.

The lasting emotional impact of Sandpapergate

The specific moments from that period continue to haunt the 37-year-old batter. Smith has described the immediate aftermath as one of the most difficult phases of his life, with the mental toll proving particularly severe in those early days following the scandal’s exposure. Smith has attempted to distance himself from the events of that year by deliberately suppressing memories of the period. He has acknowledged that blocking out details has been part of his coping mechanism, though the emotional scars remain visible when certain triggers occur.

“It was certainly a difficult period, particularly the initial period a few days after. The mental state I was in was not great. That’s somewhere I’d like not to get to again, but I certainly learned from that and have been able to move forward with my life. I’ve tried to kind of erase a lot of 2018 and what happened. I can’t remember a lot about the series. I’ve tried to block most of it out of my memory bank,” said Smith.

How Smith has worked to move forward?

Despite the lingering trauma, Smith has developed resilience through his career experiences of facing hostile crowds and challenging environments away from home. He views the adversity he encounters as an opportunity to prove himself and deliver strong performances on the field.

“It’s something I’m kind of used to. I’ve copped a lot at times away from home at different venues across my career and it’s something that I take in my own stride. I use it as motivation to try and go out and do well and try and take a positive from it,” Smith concluded.